Thursday, March 31, 2011

Stay or Leave?

March 31st (Thursday)

Sorry for the long silence. We have been trying to clean up and normalize our lives a bit since my last post.

Actually, I had been drafting the nuclear issue that ensued after the tsunami hit two plants pretty hard, but it's been an ongoing event. Quite a few people in the States have been wondering how my family is faring, whether we would stay put, what would we do if such and such happened. How do you answer those questions? How do we know, how do we try to disseminate the information coming to us, how, when, what, where, why, and more? I admit I was tempted to go back to my dear Michigan, and several nights I could not sleep. Thoughts flooding my mind of what would it be like to leave our home and mortgage behind. Well, the home we could leave behind, but the mortgage would follow us anyway. What would it be like to live in Jackson again? In, perhaps my mother’s house, where, perhaps, she could come live with us (instead of at my sister's) in her own house, and we would all live happily ever after. Sure. What would it be like to yank my three kids out of their lives here (although they often tease me about if America’s so wonderful, why are we in Japan), and get them situated in U.S. schools where they would have more adjustments than high school students who change schools for their last year or two of high school from one English-speaking school to another English-speaking school. They would manage, but it wouldn’t be without lots of struggles. What would it be like to look for work over there in Michigan, one of the states with a high unemployment rate already? What would it be like to NOT be able to start receiving my Japanese (Koji’s, too) pension? I’ve paid 23 of the 25 required years of premiums, and I’m going to give that up? What would it be like to leave my husband’s parents behind? They are nearly 90 years old, and I can’t imagine they would be eager to leave Japan and start over somewhere else. They need their son so much these days. How could we abandon them?

The what-if list and the what-would-it-be-like lists can go on and on. They are places the mind and heart can lead you far and wide. It is good to think about these things. It is good to know your options. It is good to be prepared for the worst and hope for the best. But it is not good to dwell on them and despair. It is not good to look within yourself when you should be looking at Jesus.  Let me share something a friend of mine sent me on March 21st. I’m not sure where she read this, so I’m unable to credit the original source.

Life Thought for the Church: March 20 – Second Sunday in Lent Faith in God’s love for us through Christ brings eternal life (John 3:16). Faith in God’s love for us through Christ brings strength and help for living this life. God will not abandon those for whom He paid such a holy price. This is our hope as we deal with life’s struggles and pains. God’s love is certain no matter what! You can believe it!
This helped me sort out some of my thoughts. I guess, the biggest one being, that there are so many circumstances outside of my control. I don’t believe that all this chaos is God controlling the universe. That’s not what I mean. But, He does allow bad things to happen, and uses even these events to draw people to Himself. C.S. Lewis said in The Problem with Pain, “Pain is God’s megaphone to a dying world.” Wherever I am, I am a little Christ to those around me. (If you ask me, I’m really not a very good one, but that’s another post. And don’t hold your breath waiting for that one!) So here I am until I know otherwise. In any case, all because of the grace of God.

1 comment:

sma9231961 said...

Thanks, Becky for the update and sharing all that is going on with you and the family are your situation.

You sure do face some tough choices ahead.

I love the quote that your friend sent you. It is spot on. God never forgets His people. He will be with you and protect you, whatever you decide to do and wherever you end it.

May His peace be with you.